Monday, August 31, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Friday, August 28, 2015
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Socialism is an economic concept that advocates public ownership of all resources. The production and distribution of resources with a society are then controlled by members of that society collectively or by the government that represents that society. Goods are produced and distributed based on need rather than on market forces such as profitability, price and consumers' purchasing power. In a socialist economy, workers contribute to society based on their ability and receive according to their needs, rather than being paid wages and using that money to purchase what they want. Private possessions are limited to personal-use items such as clothes, and there is no need or ability for individuals to accumulate wealth, so there is equality among the people.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Bathsheba
The old saying that it takes two to tango, has always had sexual overtones. Such was the case with David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). Often David is vilified and Bathsheba is excused for committing adultery. But if you read the genealogies of Matthew chapter one, you will see that she wasn't even given the honor of having her name mentioned. Rahab the harlot was, but not Bathsheba. She is referred to as "her who had been the wife of Uriah."
Had she walked in the fear of the Lord she perhaps would have said to David, "I will not do this thing and sin against God. I will not cause my king to commit this sin. I would rather die." Instead, her supposed consent led to the death of her beloved husband and the fall of the King.
Perhaps it was innocence that caused her to bathe in a place where David could see her. While I don't think women should wear a full covering, it's wise for them to be modest, and remember that there are a million thoughtless moths out there who will be drawn to the flame.
-- Ray Comfort
Monday, August 24, 2015
llegitimate Children
llegitimate Children
When we remove words like sin, repentance, judgment, and Hell from our message, we are in danger of preaching "another Gospel." If it's not the whole truth, it's no longer the truth at all. It becomes illegitimate and produces illegitimate children, who call God their father, but still serve the devil.
The great key to making sure that we are never guilty of this is to say with Paul, "In the sight of God we speak in Christ." In other words, the words we speak are never dictated by a fear of offending sinners on earth. Instead, they are dictated by the fear of offending a holy God in Heaven. Nothing compromises truth like seeking the approval of men. And nothing ensures the truth like seeking the approval of Almighty God.
-- Ray Comfort
Freedom
Freedom comes when you choose what’s going to control you. When you choose Jesus Christ to be in control of your life, when you are mastered by the Master, you can master everything else. If God is not number one in your life, something else is, and it’ll control you to a negative degree. When Christ is in control of your life, he always moves you in the right direction.
Romans 6:12-13 says, “Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires …. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God” (NLT, second edition).
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Friday, August 14, 2015
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Wealth
One day a very wealthy father took his son on a trip to the country for the sole purpose of showing his son how it was to be poor. They spent a few days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
After their return from the trip, the father asked his son how he liked the trip. “It was great, Dad,” the son replied. “Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked. “Oh Yeah,” said the son.
“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father. The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.” The boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “It showed me just how poor we really are.”
Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective.
Sometimes it takes the perspective of a child to remind us what’s important.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
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